An Angel across the Lands

Across the lands the orange yellow sun shined.
The green fields, the barren mountains, the seas.
Multicolored flowers danced in the cool breeze.
While, the gray mountains for the warmth whined.

There dwelt an angel by the bubbling clear blue river.
A whiff of fresh spring air was she, a bright ray of hope.
For He came to her when no longer could he cope.
A lad was He, scared, his voice would always quiver.

The cruel, piercing winds of change had worn him out.
Unhappy and troubled was he, not wishing to live long.
Laughed at by faceless faces, always understood wrong.
A loser he felt himself to the core, without any doubt.

Set by the Heavens, it seemed to him a chance meeting.
He unloaded his Burden narrating to her his tale of misery.
At once sanguinity came over him, no more he felt weary.
Free and happy was his mind now, nursing a sweet feeling.

Strange yet lovely was the strong bond that they shared.
He felt the warmth of her sweetness transcend through him.
At night he would pray to be with her under the stars so dim.
Sweet lays he would sing to her to show how much he cared.

Deep in his heart and his insecure mind, for her love he pined.
Mustering enough courage, he finally bared his mind to her.
Silent she stood there, silent, the ever-rustling leaves were.
Her lips curved to a smile, the ray of hope in his heart shined.

The torrent of emotions was strong, with her being he was smitten.
Angelic was her being, not meant to be a treasured possession of his.
He turned away, for with her, he had shared a lifetime of bliss.
So, under the stars they parted, where it all had been written.

By Shreya Sarkar

No Trace of Black or Gray

Long and restless the days and nights are
An uphill task it is to endure the longest hour.
Worthless it won't be for the exhilaration we'll feel.
Restful shall my mind be, wounds of the past will heal.

An oasis of life would be the desert you walk on.
True would be our dream of relaxing in the fair lawn.
At peace would be my restless soul when I'll be with you.
I shall be with the one for whom I breathe, who loves me true.

Grave was my heart, it sought solace in you.
The words you speak, as sweet as morning dew.
This long and gruelling hour of darkness will end one day
.The colors will appear again with no trace of black or gray

Something Within Me Just Died

A time when no one is beside
A little something is killing me inside.
It grips me silently and slowly.
Taking control over my mind and my body.
It hurts me, blinds me and chokes me.
There is nothing I can feel or see.
This clock of life is ticking away fast.
Lying in the bed, I think about my past.
Some moments in life I'll always cherish.
Reliving the days when I used to be kiddish.
A prick, a pain, a twitch inside.
Guess something within me just died..


I hold a present
For you, my dearest
A blackened rose it is
Charred by my tears
The petals are long dead
But thorns still remain

Piercing my soul are they
Calling forth unshed tears
Aching, I walk towards you
Treading paths unknown
My wounds have healed
But scars still remain

I put the rose
Aside your grave
A vertigo of emotions
Claims unshed tears
Wind carries dead petals
But thorns still remain

Left in the wake
Of tonight am I
In the distant meadows
I hear my requiem
I speak to you finally
But a silence still remains


Hymn To Venus

In this night I wait
Just like other nights
Sleeplessly I have waited
To catch a glimpse of thee
The clock ticks by
Sky turns black to pale
Like frozen tears of a mourner
Stars twinkle as if they know
Yet I have waited eternities
To manifest thy beauty
To kneel before thee
And offer my prayers
I pray for deliverance
I pray for forgiveness
Following paths unknown
Through the frozen lake
The reflection of a moonless night
O morning star! Rise!
Rise to grant my last wish
I call upon thee, Venus
To let my perception go on
Thou art divine, incomprehensible
And yet so simple and yielding
I ask for a last glimpse
Thus making thee my last vision
Before daylight claims me
Into a dark embrace


Inovocation Of Despair

I write with a certain longing
Even mourning laments for me
Seeking the sphere of despair
I look inside my own self

Spiralling into the depths below
Of a dark, scarred soul
I long for fields of despair
As a miner longs for gold

Reaching past the edge of sanity
Overlooking the abyss of forever
I search desperately, endlessly
Searching for despair

Inside lies a feeling inane
Asking me a simple question
"Why do you long for despair?
When you are its concentration"

by a friend of mine %%%%%%

A Mourner's Coronation

Yesterday arrived with a certain guilt. Pain reared its head like a mighty cyclops and gazed at me with an intensity unmatched. Slowly, I spiralled down the halls of anguish with a dying hope that you would save me. That a hand will tear apart the surface, hold me and cease my downward slide.

That hand never came and I found myself in my own psyche, swathed in perdition. An impending ceremony of my coronation came through and thus was I crowned a king. The king of perdition. The only witnesses present were my memories, my thoughts, my plans, all of which were dead. In a corner, my soul stood mourning over my new found pleasure.

Thusforth, I sat in solitude. Oblivion shrouded me while I sat and stared into nothingness. Thinking about my self. My future. There was no future, nor was any self left which could be salvaged from this dying wreck. Aeons passed me by as travellers unaware of the roadside beggar they just trampled.

Today, I claim my freedom. As the righteous king of perdition that I am, I ask you to return the pain that was originally mine. Killing any possible hope of redemption, I ask you to strip me naked of all vanity and shroud me with the thorny veil of inferno. Let me be with my kingdom, which is ever growing and there are many tasks to be accomplished. There are virtues to be conquered, held captive and executed. There are vices to be befriended. There are more thorns to be added to my blazing veil.

Now, I must take my leave. Twilight is approaching and a never ending road into purgatory awaits.

Aeonic Clash

This is the beginning of the end
Apocalypse that god sends
The war has begun
To conquer the three worlds

Godhate rises in me
Serpent stings my heart
Shards of blasphemy
Tear away my crust

The war continues
The aeons are due
A wave of bloodlust is here
Carnivorous wind blows in my face

Godhate rises in me
Serpent stings my heart
Shards of blasphemy
Wear away my soul

The end is near
Armageddon time is here
The devil wins the war
And God pays with his life

Godhate rises in me
Serpent stings my heart
The serpent is me
And I am complete.

by my friend meryl


Lying face down
Bleak breaking breaths
Force their way
Out of convolution

Bleeding wounds
Call for redemption
Impervious mirage
Of a flowing gown

Lips trying to shape
The cause of misery
The sky cries white
Sympathy drowns me

Now at my end
I understand fully
The reason behind
My untimely demise

A lovelorn rhapsody
A dark night
Revelations flowing
From your blank eyes



From shreds of nothingness
Stepping into stark reality
Defining a new name

The contiguous flames
A circle of yellow created
Trapped a soul in cellophane

A mob undead rounding the plague
Brandishing swathes of dismay
A decayed hand catches the throat
The eye of cosmos looks with disdain

Pain ignites inside
Burning flakes of skin
Embers incinerating innards

Into shreds of nothingness
Stripping into a red haven
Lost finally without a name


Faith is a twisted word
The more You possess
The more you ache
The brazen wounds, oh

The feeling of euphoria
Turns to atrocity
Statements of praise
Twist vociferously

Have you ever felt
What it is like to be
At the other end
Of singularity

Unbound, unleashed
Unfettered from chains

The feeling of atrocity
Turns to euphoria
As you approach
I await...



Cryptic shells of smoke
Billow out of my pyre
As I stand pale faced
A ghost of my past

Her dead eyes haunting me
The last words before farewell
"We will meet again"
"But I do not love you"

Sickened and wilted
Inhaling the bittersweet poison
Flowing down her cheeks
It almost forced me to stay

Sacrificed, eviscerated love
Left a rotting corpse
A hollow cast
My holocaust...


The Burning Infinity

Infinity lies dead, yet the fire of its never-ending furnace burns away, like a flickering candle providing you with the light and the confidence to tread on life's paths. The fuel of that fire is your soul, your life, the more you give in, the brighter it burns, extinguishing only with your existence and the dear, precious thing you call life. The fire will try to fade, to be dimmed by your shadow, and you must fight the urge to do so. The fathomless dark path otherwise known as life can not be treaded if the fire is eclipsed. The more you give, the more clarity will it render to your thoughts, the pathways of this expedition. Extinguishing with clarity is the only thing that you should aim for, rather than going off with fear and lack of knowledge.

Suffering is temporary, for after facing the final truth, death, you will not suffer, but the cosmos will act as your heaven, you home, an infinity to explore. When you suffer, you think "Why?". The reason behind that suffering is not fate, not destiny, it is a consequence of your deeds. Still you suffer, be scared of it, avoid it, without realizing that there is beauty in pain. That this is a test to determine your purity. Fear is impure. Pain is pure. Death is pure. The thought that should be beheld should not be fear of pain or fear of death. Embrace pain, embrace death, when it comes. When the time is ripe, when you fulfill your purpose. Leave greed and gluttony to the mortal plane and think above it.

I will leave you with this monologue
"I am not all, I am one. Yet I am all, all is me, but I am none".

Living Deception

Your apprentice beckons you
Blindly following commands
An embodiment of slavery
A follower of anguish

Sacrificing himself
His life and times
Devoting his soul
To your sins

Living a lie
Lying a life
Abridging the wide gap
Between you and taint

A seed of despair
Makes my sheath
A yearning call
For my own identity

You are no one
Opening my eyes
An embodiment of freedom
A follower of myself



Fate, an excuse to put my blame on. An imaginary being falsely accused of my deeds. Explicitly tried for my sins. A knotted transgression implying my perversion. I do something and until and unless the consequences seem right, the deed is mine; and as thing start turning sour, fate comes forward to take the blame.
Isn't that how we all live? Isn't that how we brush off our mistakes and flaws? Isn't it a part of our aim for perfection?
A deed is a fibre, intertwining with others to create the very thread of our lives and affecting others' lives in the process. Nothing is pre-decided, wrought on the time line, but is a consequence of deeds - ours and others'. We are masters of our own destiny, not fate or the "Almighty" God. Fate is an invention portraying our thoughtlessness.
A realization is pending, of the truth. There is not fate, no cleared pathways into the wilderness of life. There is but a will, to create these pathways, savoring every win and learning from every loss. Mourning and lamentations are signs of weakness and must be dealt with.
The weak cannot create paths on their own. They follow the brave blindly, meekly like sheep. They make the same mistakes as the brave do, the fall into the same potholes that the brave do. Yet the rewards they reap are nothing compared to what the brave have reaped. At destiny's end, the weak stand forgotten and only the brave are remembered.
It is upto us to decide, what we wish to be, sheep or human, weak or brave. We can choose to be the weak, to live in a herd and to die in seclusion. But on the other hand we can choose to cut our own path into the wilderness and traverse it, wary of the dangers, savoring every moment. To live with suffering, stand up to it and deal with it. The choice is but ours.
Those who seek perfection never achieve it. Perfection comes to those who accept their imperfection and strive to change their flaws themselves without tolerating excuses. Those who seek themselves, achieve perfection. Those who realize what they are inside and honestly try to change it. Those who are willing to fight destiny and overpower it, without worrying about tomorrow. Those who live by the moment and not by the future.
For a deed is a fibre, circumferential in nature. What you sow is what you reap.


Velvet Transcendence

Travesty entwined, calamity resigned
Transgressing a velvet transcendence
Following a path unknown
Regressing the future inside

I hide within the shell that was me
But now a monstrosity is breaking free
A spawn of imagination, a being of deceit
A win for you, for me...defeat

Once I was
Now, nothing remains
Besides shreds of insanity
And in this insanity
I bask

By ma friend Sharona


I come around
Claiming the blame
Pleading. Begging.
Execution. Redemption.

A promise of salvation
Failure of designation
No hope, no life inside
Destiny is ending. Subside.

Solidarity left entombed
In the crypt of emotions
A claim of love
Eluding known devotion

Lingering sorrow, bleeding pain
Tears dissolve in oncoming rain
An extinguished flame. I lie
One word remains. Goodbye.


Lament of a Dying Butterfly

When the spring beckons
I will open my eyes
And flutter off
To the sweet flowers

When the spring beckons
I will break free
Of the cocoon
Embracing me

Frail, Weak
I lie, waiting
Drawing strength from within
Solitude blooming my confidence

Don't break the shell
Don't pretend to help
Don't hold me in your hands
And don't set me free

For it is autumn now
I'm not that strong
There are no flowers
Yet I fly, into nothingness

By a very close friend of mine .. meryl.. thnkz

Demise Of A Glass Maiden

Trapped in a glass prism
Shrouded in crystal
Confirmed an empty chasm

Sullen in ignorance
I find a bliss
This is no second chance

Words don't hurt anymore
Numbing in anticipation
As I did, in times of yore

Watching helplessly
A world so cold
There existed a regret
But no more

Ascending into my sphere of dismay
I climb onto my corpse
But, the advent has to end somewhere
As does the song of my lament

Soon to end it all
I watch, I pray
Needing only a blade
To scrap this shell of clay

inspired by crystal love i got myself

The Blood Of Her Love

I stand before you, milord
Confessing to a crime committed
I seek the penalty of life
For death shall not end my plight

Ask me my crimes
Heinous and unforgiven
They ask for misery
And despair and eternally

For I have killed my love, milord
With these very wretched hands
Do not allow me to die
And redeem my sins for purgation

I stand undulated
Mourning my loss

With brooding eyes painted with pain and anguish
With yearning heeds wrought with desperation
With reeking claims of a judgement deserved
With a flame of darkness in the light

I shall live condemned
I shall


Song Of Sorrow

Sitting on the banks of a stream
Looking across the mire
I spot a solitary bird of black
Singing a song of sorrow

The moon glinting in his eye
As is sadness roiling within
It speaks of love eternal
Followed by great sufferings

Rain starts gathering in clouds
I see a watery peck on his cheek
It speaks in graven mournings
As if lulling his love to sleep

"Losing life maybe hard
Yet harder is losing love
For life ends once and for all
But love ends after eternity"



Paralysed. Left in affinity.
Sterilised. Aromatic infinity.
Compromised. Gladdening demeanor.
Characterised. Obstinate endeavour.

Remaining a wall
With paper thickness
Heeding a call
A ghost in sickness

Sold and standing
A plastic doll on display
Blinking eyes but empty
No trace of grimace or dismay

Losing identity and emotions
Numbing cheeks, frostbitten
But, a contentment follows
Though inside I'm still stricken

Is it a cure?
Am I cured?


Story Of Life

Resplendent, luminous lives
A thousands times old
Knowing no boundaries
In the universe of the mind.
Lucid dreams, tamed, played at
An hours life is a thousand lives
In the playground of the scholar.
When life was conceived
In the living waters of origin
Senses are unknown
As flesh is not in the world sworn
So blind imagination must make dreams
Come true.
When life is ending
Brain on moribund overdrive
One tool still working
When all else is dead.
In this last decade of minutes
Billions of lives are lived
When the lucid dream is realized
And its multiplying put to use.
So in essence we live forever
As you can do as I do
When you dream in your dreams
When you do as I do.


Idea Of Love

Whose idea was love?
To which they smiled, thinking high
Considering no faults, thinking on the blithe
But now today
Love is confusion, technology and religion
A turbid, miry painting among surrealism.
What pain is this
To find joy
Straying alone on the desolate world
Searching for what one has designed
For which logic is here to remind
Who needs rhetorical questions?
They strike a pose
In the history of your memory
Standing astute, unruly reflection
Astute to the happenings of the world
A noticing eye, a clean lens to incidents
Sharp logic, splitting and arranging like a knife
Giving advice after seeing intense intents.
Two exalted minds bear fruit
One wise and quiet
The other advising, and not as mute.
We can notice what occurs
In this place, the world,
But depending on raising
Will our voices be heard?
Whose idea was love?
To which they smiled, thinking high



Revenge, a human ability
Nature knows not the theory.
Reasons for this unfolding
Ranging from death to envy
Fall victim to human hands
Fingers cracking, unknown labor
What bids them to consume?
Exalted thinking
Deterred from the call
But knows the taste and hunger
For what we call reprisal.


Logic Offence

Love not wanted
A crime only justified
By the logic of your own voice.
Complaints of unrequited love

Given to others by self

But when dealing out neglect

The offense seems not as strong.


Of Age

Coming time
Of all seconds past
And folded so for each one
Future so far
Humans no longer called so
Language as old as stars
And spoken same respect as comparison.
No hate
No death
No plague
No fate
As fear is forgotten, aeons old
Technology here a word grasped
And known at birth.
Beyond it
Horizons creased
All is predicted
Universes known and not mapped
But memorized
Atoms thrown with precision
Anything fashioned
A time so far
Death does not exist
And we live forever
In bodies made by ourselves.
Orchestras of centuries, a song so perfected
Science not respected but understood
In a world so mapped, so far from here
We know everything, so nothing at all.


Reflections Inside

Some faults seen
Untidiness in mind
And flesh abroad
Traps set about
But no heed bought.
Self a jerk
Not seen as in mind until now
How acting different, and acting self
Made me imagined wretched
So self hated.
A crime from own hands
But only person hurt
Is self
So no court can be held
So no justice can be given
So no punishment can be granted
Unless pain is dealt
To self
From perpetrator.
I stand
Guilty in many senses
Censure from minds chasms
Doleful as still breathing.
The world understood
Each passing day tacitly known
Each moment, a sky clears
As understanding pains me
Mostly as a friend cannot share the feeling
I shut the door
That leads playfully to my inner self
Face hiding behind a disguise
A wizened skin shown only to others
None and no one, not one shall see
A machine that you call, Me.
Told to be myself since words heard
But more pain found from ridicule
Of being self than being just a front
So now hidden pain grows harder
From not being as should
But being another.


Paranoia Forever In Heaven

A rasping voice
Calls my name
I turn around
Only to see
The wind
Teasing me

A gleaming light
Guiding me
I follow
Only to find
The darkness
Engulfing me

A portrait unveiled
Smiles at me
I smile back
Only it is
The mirror
Reflecting me

A final cry
Echoes out loud
I look around
Only I am
Down at me

Breaking through
To a dream
Where we exist
As ourselves

Holding you
I will sleep
In your arms

When the wind blows
Hair onto my face
When the flowers bloom
In their colourful grace

Heaven, I call

When the rain-drops
Caress my eyes and cheek
When the sunlight
Breaks the foul reek

Heaven, I call

When the moon bathes
Me with ethereal light
When the birds sing
Songs of immaculate bright

Heaven, I call

When you are not here
And all I have is memories
Bitter and cold and damp and
I hide within these reveries

Heaven, I call?

Who I'd Like to Meet and I the Red Eye

From dust into stone.
If you owned one more day
To sing, to breathe, to say
What beauty would you wish
Your eyes had time to kiss?
Someday, one day
Tomorrow will be at feign
But that truth is not here, yet
Leave lasting not your debt
While time is indeed an ally
As tomorrow is not nigh.
Go see all your own wonderful things
So memory may, to them, muse and sing

My open hand
Will not linger forever
So take it up
Best before never.
Prospect beckons
My darling only
Let us find our ends
Among each other

For battle, war, genocide
All rains of ruin from the sky
For one, only as killing,
Suffers the greatest high!
This deprav`ed crimsoned soldier
Known only as Red eye.
Cursed forever, dying to fight
Blessed to never fight and die
Decadent Life, void of light,
And from him not a sigh.
I am Red eye, and besides my name?
This scarlet countryside is all my fame.
Stands unscathed, smiles of rage
Now where even some gods fell
Taking his steps upon this stage
An actor here without parallel.
Who is Red eye?
The only person who never replies
Is the only one who possibly knows
As ever inquiry meets his mind
The speaker meets mighty blows.

Why can I not create beauty!
Is this form hopeless, damned
Why are, by some gods decree,
Neither of my two an artists hand?
My crusade of fulfillment
On personal or otherwise enlightenment
Has met far too many an amoral blockade
For atrocious is everything this I has made.
And this I is screaming inside
Dead already by its eyes
Why, why do I fail to make others see
Such rare, beautiful thoughts I hold?
They too will be snuffed out with me,
Their grandeur all untold.

I do not wish to be alive
I do not wish to be dead
To what existence should I thrive
From reality to never have I fled.

Pain is pleasure with a kick
Ere realizations eve renders one sick.
Desires conspiring clouds the mind
Having tainted it to joy of this kind
Note my ache and bear cognized
I think of you when I want to die.
Its lips are stone; dark is its day,
Damn all this painful joy away.

They each face the other
To reduce their us to one
Their only endeavor
To make the other undone.
Those dependant on tenacity,
The one resolve of the deed,
Watch in precedent, complicity
Upon loss, will their sort recede?
Our one warrior stands
As does theirs, the same
But two cannot win in ends
And sides each shall cry one name.

My days fall black and dead
As her dark voice diseases my head
Taught lust as vision goes gray
Oh my lady, oh malady
I fall from well and love it so.

This Warrior still stands
Aged in skill, not the flesh
As he walks these unknown lands
All he ponders is his rest.
His sword upon the ground,
Sends all poets pens at respite,
When will my worries be sound,
When will one claim my might?
I know I must fall to dust.
When will my renown rust?
Hubris is not my undoing,
Nor anger, envy, lust
But my greatness,
My most bitter nemesis,
Claims my sanity
And names my self infinity.

Even though I stand afar
Even though the door's ajar
Even when the sleep can maim
You, my love, I claim

Even though I am crawling
Even though the day is falling
Even when the silence tames
You, my love, I claim

Even if I am to be wretched
Even when the signs are etched
Even with non-existent aims
You, my love, I claim

Killing Machine

Killing machine
Called coincidence
Obstructed by conscience
And so afraid of humans not so.
Device behind eyes
Called morality
Virtues and ethics
Its unpracticed sword and shield.
Karma perhaps a guise
Greater evil at work
Behind the gears
Known as human ire.

Life an accident
Cruelest witticism from the universe
An Almightys creation
Alone to wander
Wondering where siblings sleep.

Just a focus point
Like sentences of Zen
Simple, open minded
Like wandering thoughts
And so guiding them
A canal of rational
Tumbling to one point.
A poem much the same
Ideas made tangible with words
But thoughts after reading
What the writer intends.

Never Never

The sweetest sound
Is never known
The greatest taste
Never shown
Holiest sight
We will never see.
Only in the chamber of a mind
Can we find what we call ideal
For disposition and intuition
In each human
As it passes hands, tongues, eyes and ears
Is interpreted, boundless files and gears
And compared to expectation.
So sadly the process grinds
And no two greatest of anything matches
Now even words provide further quandary
As appreciation and explanation
Are furthered from thoughts
With petty human locution.
Expression in a thousand forms
Furthered from what perceived,
Paint and paper, pen and blood
Only so reaching aimlessly
Expression never mastered
To the beauty found
In the mind.

Simple Inspiration

Greater plan
But higher need answered
Simple first life mastered
And advancement allowed
Clever one takes his place
A simple face, an analogy
To those who dont see the inner mode.
Greater plan realized
Moved on to the next
But philosophy not recognized
Moved on prematurely
To rare worlds idealized.
Sociology surely immortalized.
Like a friend
I wait patiently
At a door or a gate
But never call, as absurd
But wishing could, inside
Not insane
But should be
As teachers have helped
And inspiration to live grew in me.

I smile

I smile that you are gone
I smile that you are with me now
I see your face and I smile, knowing
I see the memory and I smile, knowing
But I just cant take any more illusion
I pick myself from the floor realizing
I will not be done with you

Lucid Reality

Resplendent auras of nothingness
Shroud your yearning screams
Depleting resources meshed in gloom
Cellos grief-stricken sing

Ringing cacophonies of maniacal laughter
Suppress your hands to ears
Gloating faces in airy cellophane
Laugh and smirk and wink

A trapped rat you are
In this realm of lucidity
The narcotics are running out
To help fight reality

Love is all but gone
Support is non-existent
Friends are worse than foes
Families have fallen apart

A lucid reality
Asking to be fought
Draining a sober soul
Draining it to naught


I know what you're doing,
I'm no fool to what I see.
I know the games you're playing,
But you're not playing them with me.
My eyes are wide open,
Now I'm one step ahead.
You can't keep up with me,
So you lie to me instead.

I'll just sit back and watch,
As karma takes ahold.
You're destiny's written,
By a loveless hand so cold.
You must think that I'm dumb,
Just 'cos I'm keeping quiet.
I'm just biding my time,
Before I start my riot.

I gave you all my time,
And you told me that you care.
If I needed someone,
You told me you would be there.
So go ahead and run,
Take back all the words you said.
I'm building myself up,
You're no longer in my head.

You've lied for far too long,
Now you don't know who you are.
No one's gonna care now,
They can see that you're no star.
And soon the time will come,
When I stop keeping quiet.
I'll make it headline news,
So stop the press - this is.....


(C) Susannah Ford-Crush 2007

by a friend of mine on face book named susannah itz amazin .. clickz wid me heheh i m gonna start my riot tooo

MuKhtalif JalvE

Woh bhi kya log thai
asaan thi raahein
Jin ki bandh aankhein kiye
ek simat si chale jaati thi
aqal o dil - khwaab o haqeeqat
ki na uljhan na khalish
mukhtalif jalve nigaahoon ko na bahlaati thi
ishq sadaa bhi
tha bekhud bhi
tha junoon peshaa bhi
husn ko apni adaaoo pe hijaab aata tha
phool khilte Thai ToH PhOOlo MaI Nasha hota tha
RaaT DHALtI toh sheeshoon pe shabaab aata tha
Chandni Kaif-aSar rUUH aafza hoti thi
Aber aata tha toh badh-mast bhi hoo jaate thai
Din mai shorish bhi hua karti thi hungaame bhi
Raat Ki guud mai muh dhaanp ke soo jaate thai
Narm rau waqt ke dhaare pe saffeen thi ravaan
Saahil-o-bahar ke aa-inn na badalte thai kabhi
Naa khudahoo pe bharoosa tha , muqadder pe Yakin
Chaadar-e-aab se toofaan na ubalte thai kahin
Hum ke toofaano ke paaley bhi sataye hai kabhi
Barq o bara mai woh hi shamey jalaye kaise
Yeh jo aatish-kadaa duniyaa mai bhadak uthaa hai
aansoon se har baar bhujaaye kaise

hmmm abhi aur baaki hai..

THe AwAkENing

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening...

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

This onez by virginia swift..